


You Were Right

by thegreatficmaster



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Regret, Regretful Dean, Sad Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 10:10:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8397535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: Summary: Mary is back. Dean has to make a decision regarding his relationship with Y/n, not realising his decision would be the worst he ever made.





	

Mary Winchester was back. The woman who died when Dean was only 4 and Sam was a few months old was back.

Dean spent the night speaking to her, wanting to know more about her, missing his mother for over 30 years. But he had to get back to the bunker. He had to see Sam. Make sure his brother knew he was still alive and by some miracle, they were both given a chance to get to know their mother.

As he drove back with her, he realized something. He had no idea how to tell Mary about y/n.

Dean and y/n had been dating for over 14 years. They were completely in love. Y/n was by Dean’s side through everything. He was there when John went missing. He was there when John died, when Sam died, when Dean went to hell and came back. He was the one who held Dean together during the time Sam was in the cage. He helped Dean through everything and never once lost faith in Dean, holding onto his love when the man was in purgatory. Through all the drama with the Mark of Cain.

The one time y/n felt as though he had truly lost Dean was when he found out he had slept with women during his time as a demon. Y/n couldn’t handle it and left Sam and Cas. He couldn’t be around anymore.

The second Dean was cured of his demon status, he remembered what he had said when y/n came to him, telling him he was worthless, he was never loved and he should do the world a favour and die.

Y/n left after that, but that was only the first time Dean saw him while he was a demon. He kept watch over y/n, making sure he never moved on, secretly threatening or hurting any guys who he saw as possible rebounds or replacements.

He spoke to y/n again while the man was on a hunt, Dean being the thing he was hunting down. When y/n saw his ex, the man he loved for over a decade, killing the human like he was nothing, he just stood in shock, unable to do anything.

_Dean walked up to y/n when he turned around, the First Blade slightly piercing the skin of y/n’s neck as Dean held it against him while y/n was pinned to the wall, too scared to move a muscle._

_“Stay away. No hunting for you. Understood?”_

_The little human part of Dean that was shoved behind the black hole that the demon took up wanted to protect y/n, keep him safe from all the monsters. But the demon part of him just wanted y/n out of the way. No more interfering. No more showing up. No nothing. He wanted y/n gone, so he said the worst thing possible._

**_“I know I told you I wished you’d die, but I’d like to add that you should stay that way, too”._ **

_Dean walked away then, leaving y/n standing there, emotionless, Dean’s words not affecting him because he truly believed he wasn’t loved at all already. He truly believed he was worthless and he had come to accept all of this._

_It wasn’t until a few months later that Dean showed up at y/n’s doorstep, the man having given up hunting, not really caring whether people died or not. He had fallen into a hole of despair when Dean had told him the words that he had heard all his life, whether it was from his parents or exes. He didn’t care for much at all, barely keeping himself alive, not worrying whether or not a neighbour might die from a demon. That was their own problem, not his. Not anymore._

_“Y/n, please open the door” Dean begged for the thousandth time, having been stood on the porch for the last 20 minutes. Y/n finally relented, wanting Dean to just go away._

_“What is it?” he asked, a dead look in his eyes. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in days and he lost a lot of weight since the last time Dean had seen him. This wasn’t the man he had loved since they met. This man was a stranger. Y/n was stronger than this. He was brave and determined._

_Dean realized just how much his words hurt y/n, his heart aching at the thought that he had done this._

_“Can-can I come in?” he stuttered, his emotions threatening to take over._

_Y/n stepped aside, letting the Winchester into his house before taking his seat on the couch, watching as Dean paced in front of him before stopping, walking towards y/n and dragging him up, taking him into a hug, the feeling of y/n in his arms after almost a year apart healing all the broken pieces of him._

_“I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry” Dean sobbed out, crying into y/n’s hair. Y/n just stood, not feeling anything as he pulled away from Dean’s embrace and walked towards the stairs._

_“Close the door on your way out please” he whispered before walking up the stairs and laying in his bed, feeling nothing at all for the man he used to love._

_Dean just watched as the broken man made his way upstairs. Seeing the damage he had done hurt him more than any torture he had endured in hell._

_He wouldn’t give up though. For the next month, Dean didn’t leave y/n’s house at all. He stayed there every day, speaking to y/n, getting closer to him once more, the other man opening up slightly and allowing himself to begin feeling again. Eventually, Dean broke down, apologising over and over, begging y/n to take him back._

_Dean needed y/n like he needed oxygen. He couldn’t live without him. So he cried and cried on his knees, his face buried in y/n’s shirt, begging and begging._

_Y/n looked down at the once strong man, the one who always pushed past the hurt and carried on, now crying and pleading. He ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, knowing this would calm him. Placing his other hand on Dean’s cheek, the Winchester leaning into the touch, y/n shifted Dean’s face and looked him in the eyes._

_He knew Dean loved him. There was no doubt about it. But the words he had said when he was a demon, they hurt y/n more than anything. But he had come to realize, that wasn’t Dean. Not his Dean. His Dean would never say this to him. His Dean was completely smitten by y/n. So there was no way he was going to punish Dean for something he didn’t do._

_“I love you so much Dean Winchester” he whispered, tearing up at the sight in front of him._

_Dean’s eyes widened. He didn’t think y/n would accept him again. He wouldn’t have if someone told him the things he had said while he was a demon. But he had a second chance. This time he would make sure he didn’t throw it away._

_He stood up and pulled y/n’s face to his, connecting their lips as they moved in conjunction, feeling the love and longing in the kiss. Dean missed y/n’s soft lips, the way they melted away all of his stress and worries._

_He picked y/n up, the man wrapping his legs around Dean’s waist as he carried them up the stairs to the bedroom. They stripped and Dean immediately entered y/n. He was tighter than he remembered and y/n hissed in pain at the intrusion, but he quickly relaxed and began enjoying himself as Dean lay him down on the bed and made love to him, y/n crying at the feeling of Dean inside him, touching him and holding him again. For the first time in almost a year, y/n finally felt complete. He had found the missing piece._

_They lay there after a few hours, y/n accepting Dean’s offer to go back to the bunker, knowing with Dean, he would be ok._

Dean had no idea how to tell Mary about y/n. He wasn’t ashamed of his sexuality or y/n at all. He had told Sam while he was in college that he was dating a guy. It was John he had kept it hidden from. During the few times John had actually met y/n, he always thought he was just one of Deans close friends. If only he knew just how close they really were.

Almost everyone else knew about his relationship with y/n. Bobby knew because Dean was certain his other father figure wouldn’t judge him for this. Cas knew, Charlie knew, Crowley knew, Kevin knew. Just about everyone knew. But this was his mother. The woman who had given birth to him. The woman who gave him four wonderful years. The woman who he had lost, only to gain back now.

Dean was going to make sure he didn’t lose her. So he made up his mind. As much as he hated himself for it, he was going to break up with y/n. He couldn’t lose Mary because of the fact that he was gay. If he had to, he’d be single the rest of his life and marry a woman maybe, even if the love he had for her would never compare to how he felt for y/n.

Driving back, Dean glanced over at Mary, taking her in. it was surreal. He actually had his mother back. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of joy and excitement, wanting to get to know her, to have his mother take care of him, despite the fact that he was 36.

“So this is the bunker, it’s sort of our home now” he said as he stepped out of the car, leading Mary inside. As they entered, Dean noticed an unusual silence. Running down the spiral staircase, he saw the trail of blood, immediately going into defence mode and whipping out his gun.

As he checked around, he had to stop his mother from shooting Cas, the angel relieved the Winchester was alive, shocked that his mother was back. They all found y/n on the kitchen floor, bloody and bruised.

“Cas, help him” Dean pleaded, needing y/n alive despite what he had decided to do. Cas rushed to y/n and healed his wounds, the man waking after a few seconds, still slightly groggy and confused.

As his vision came into focus, he saw the green eyes of the man he thought he wouldn’t be able to see until his time was up.

“D-Dean?” he asked, his voice shaking.

Dean simply nodded as y/n jumped up and hugged Dean, squeezing him tight to make sure he was real. As he was about to kiss Dean, the older hunter pulled his head away, leaving y/n slightly confused. But he simply brushed it off when Dean introduced his mother, completely freaked out at the fact that he was meeting his boyfriend’s previously dead mother.

“Hi Mrs Winchester. I-I’m y/n” he said as he held his hand out to her. She simply chuckled and shook his hand, smiling at the cute man.

“Hi y/n, it’s very nice to meet you” she said, before turning serious and the conversation switched to where Sam could be and finding him became a priority.

As they all got their gear to find Sam, Dean stopped y/n and led him to their room.

“Y/n, I-I need to tell you something”.

“What is it Dean?” he asked, still slightly happy, despite the fact that they had lost Sam, he still had Dean.

“I don’t think you should come with us” Dean said as he looked just past y/n’s head.

“What the hell do you mean you don’t think I should come with you?” y/n asked, confused as to what was going on right now.

“I mean, I don’t want you there. I-I-I think you should go”.

“W-what do you mean go, Dean?” y/n replied, getting terrified now. Dean had been his life for over a decade. All of his family were dead. He had no one in the world except for Dean. He couldn’t leave.

“I mean, I don’t want you around anymore. I think it’s time we go our separate ways. I-I need my mom and I can’t have her with you here”.

Dean couldn’t even bring himself to look at y/n, knowing he would break if he saw the hurt on y/n’s face.

“Dean, please don’t do this” y/n begged, holding onto Dean’s hands, “I need you so much. Don’t do this. I can promise you she’ll accept us. She will. Just please don’t leave me. I love you so much baby. Remember. You said you were never gonna leave me again?” he reminded Dean, wanting him to keep the promise he had made on the day they had gotten back together.

Dean needed y/n to leave. It was the worst thing, having to choose between having a relationship with his mother who had returned, or the man he had been in love with forever. But he needed his mother. She was his family. He needed Mary so much, to make up for all the missed time. So he chose her.

Dean decided the only way to make y/n leave would be to do the worst thing he could imagine. He had to make him feel unloved. That way y/n wouldn’t want to be around anymore. Just like last time.

“I lied. I never loved you. It wasn’t the demon talking that time. Did you really believe I ever loved you? I mean look at you” Dean said, lacing his words with fake poison, trying to make it as believable as possible while he was internally screaming at himself to stop, the tears in y/n’s eyes and the way his face dropped breaking every single part of him.

“I-I get it Dean. I’ll go. I-I hope you find Sam” he whispered, knowing he was never good enough for Dean before packing up a few pieces of clothing, not able to take everything with him, having bought too many things in an attempt to make the bunker more homely. Dean just watched, his heart pleading to him to stop y/n. Tell him it was all a lie. He didn’t mean any of it. But he couldn’t. He had to choose his mother. So he just stood there, trying not to break down.

“I’m sorry Dean” y/n said, turning before he exited the room, “I know I was never good enough for you. I really hope you find someone you love. You deserve all the happiness in the world” he added, truly wanting Dean to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him. With those last words, he left the room, walking through the bunker as tears rolled down his face, knowing this was the last time he’d ever be in this building. The smell of old books, leather and the pies he baked almost every day for Dean in his nose as he tried to take everything in.

He hated himself for getting involved with the Winchesters. They always loved to throw around the saying _‘Family don’t end with blood’_. But when it came down to it, they’d give up the entire world for each other and y/n had just realized he was never family in the first place. He was just a passenger along for the ride, being thrown out when the better passenger by the name of Mary Winchester came along.

“Goodbye” he whispered to nothing, getting into a spare car and driving away from the only home he had ever known, not knowing where to go or what to do. All he knew was he was all alone.

“Dean, where’s y/n?” Cas asked as they got into the impala.

Dean didn’t comment, not wanting to say anything, knowing the second he opened his mouth, he would most likely cry, wanting more than anything to take all his words back. But he couldn’t, not if it would cost him his mother.

“Dean” Cas tried again, getting no response for the second time.

Mary entered the car at that point, looking to the backseat, “Where’s y/n?” she asked.

“He’s gone” Dean said, driving and ignoring the questions from the angel and his mother.

The next few days were a mess, Mary had killed one of the British henchmen, Dean had gotten kidnapped and tortured and they eventually got their Sammy back. As they all gathered around the kitchen, eating and talking, Mary once again brought up y/n.

“So Dean, about y/n. Why did he leave?” she asked. The man seemed lovely. She wanted to know him a bit better and was strangely upset he left.

“Wait. Y/n left?” Sam interjected, looking at Dean in disbelief. There was no way Dean would let y/n just leave. He had been the one to be there with him through everything. Sam could see Dean was more in love with y/n than he could have ever imagine. They both needed each other desperately.

“Why?”

“Drop it Sammy” Dean replied, his voice harsh and demanding, not wanting to talk about it.

Mary picked up on the weird atmosphere and slightly put the pieces together.

“Dean, what was y/n to you?” she asked in a gentle voice, hoping to get her eldest son to open up to her. He said nothing as he attempted to continue to eat his pie, a few tears falling into it as he choked out a sob.

“Dean” she asked, worried now as she placed her hand on his arm.

“H-he was my b-boyfriend” Dean whimpered, hoping his mother wouldn’t abandon him again, but also hating the fact that he had to use the past tense, knowing he had lost the best thing that ever happened to him.

“Why did he leave?” Sam asked, knowing for certain y/n wouldn’t have just decided to up and leave.

“I broke up with him”.

“You did what!” Sam yelled, beyond pissed that Dean had done this, y/n being his best friend. “What the fuck Dean! Why the hell would you break up with him?” Sam questioned. He thought they were happy. Sure y/n hated the fact that Dean had some weird bond with Amara, but he knew this was only due to the Mark and nothing else.

“I had to” he said glancing at Mary.

“Oh my god Dean. You didn’t” Sam sighed, knowing the reason Dean had broken up with y/n.

“What? What do you mean? What is it?” Mary asked, seeing the glances her sons were giving her, wondering if she had done something to somehow make her son break up with y/n.

Dean put his fork down, running a hand down his face, trying to wipe away some of the tears, failing as fresh ones replaced them immediately.

“I broke up with him for you”.

Mary looked at him in confusion. She had no problem with y/n. She didn’t even know the man. Not really. So why would Dean break up with him because of her?

“What do you mean you broke up with him for me?”

“When dad was alive, Dean knew he wouldn’t accept y/n, so he kept it hidden” Sam began explaining.

“But when you came back, I didn’t want to lose you because I was dating another man. So I-I chose you. I broke up with him so you wouldn’t leave me” Dean continued, his tears not slowing.

Mary’s heart broke at his admission. It was bad enough that John thought like this, but the fact that Dean had given up someone he obviously loved and hated to be without just in case she wouldn’t accept him was something she couldn’t have him thinking.

“Dean, I don’t mind. At all. You can date a man. Or a woman. I really don’t care. Do you think I’m going to give up my boys after 30 years without you, just for that? I won’t ever do that. Now, how about we go get him back, hmm?” she asked, running her hand through his hair and placing it on his cheek, the man closing his eyes at his mother’s loving touch.

Dean smiled. His heart was a little lighter. Y/n was right. Mary would accept them. He could have his mother and the love of his life. He just had to find y/n and pray that he would be forgiven.

They immediately got to finding y/n, Sam tracking his phone and the activating the tracker in the car he took, pinpointing his location to a little road not too far from the bunker. Dean thought he must have slept there, tearing up slightly, knowing y/n hated sleeping alone, especially when it was somewhere outside.

They all got into the impala and drove as fast as they could, wanting to get y/n back home.

As soon as y/n’s car came into view, something felt off. It was quiet. But not a good quiet. Dean pulled up just behind y/n’s car and stepped out, Mary and Sam following his actions.

Dean got closer and closer to the car, not seeing y/n inside the car, only his belongings, which were thrown all over the back seat.

“Dean, you need to see this”.

Dean ran to Sam, looking at the trail of blood his brother was pointing at.

“No” he whispered, refusing to believe that was y/n’s blood. As he followed the trail, Mary walking behind them, her heart filled with dread, Dean set his eyes on the worst thing imaginable.

There lay y/n, in the dirt, covered in strands of grass and clumps of soil. His body was bloody and beaten, his eyes lifeless and empty. Dean fell to his knees, brushing all the dirt off y/n’s body and pulling him onto his lap, cradling him and rocking him.

Mary could only watch as her son broke down completely. She knew this feeling. She had been through it when John had died. The feeling of losing the person you love more than anything. The feeling of being broken beyond repair. She would never wish this sort of pain on her worst enemy and yet her son was going through it right in front of her.

“Y/n, y/n please wake up. Don’t do this to me. Please baby, wake up” Dean sobbed out, shaking y/n over and over, his tears streaking down his face and onto y/n’s, not knowing how he was meant to live his life without the one person who was there for him through everything.

Even when Sam had left him, y/n refused, looking for Dean while he was in purgatory, being there for him through the Mark and Amara. He was the one constant in Dean’s life, he couldn’t lose him now. Not like this.

“Dean” Sam said, grabbing a hat from the dirt and handing it to his brother.

Dean recognized the hat immediately.

_“Come on Dean, I don’t like this place” y/n moaned, the area seeming slightly sketchy. But Dean had wanted to come to this bar for a while, it was quieter and more private._

_“Just a few minutes, I promise”._

_Dean dragged y/n into the bar and sat at a booth, ordering their drinks and having a fun time, until three men came up to them._

_“Well well, look what we have here. A couple of fags” one of them said, shifting his ugly tattered hat, seeing Dean and y/n holding hands._

_Dean jumped up immediately, staring the men down as they looked at him, his taller stature scaring them and the glare on his face making them shrink away. Dean knew they would be a problem, but y/n never left the bunker without him, so he would always be safe._

“I did this” he whispered, “I did this to him. I knew he had nowhere to go, but I made him leave. They found him without me”.

Mary and Sam watched as Dean just broke down again, the guilt hitting him as he begged for forgiveness.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. Y-you were right you know. She accepted us. You were a-always right. I should have-should have listened to you baby. I should’ve known you were right. I love you so much you know. I didn’t mean a-a si-single word I said” Dean choked out, hoping y/n didn’t truly believe that Dean didn’t love him, hoping that his words hadn’t caused y/n to die truly believing he wasn’t good enough for Dean. He just wished y/n had seen through his act, seen the pain Dean felt as he said the words and knew it was all a lie.

“Please, just don’t leave me. I promised you, remember? I wouldn’t leave you again. So you can’t leave me either. Just come back to me. I promise I’ll never do this again. I was so stupid. You need to get to know mom. She needs to see how amazing you were. Please come back to me”.  

Dean sobbed for hours, remembering y/n’s last words to him, wishing him happiness. If only he knew he was Dean’s happiness. Without him in his life, Dean didn’t know how to carry on.

Mary watched, sobbing as the man her son loved was buried in the little woods surrounding the bunker, y/n loving the peace it provided him. She couldn’t help but feel a sense of responsibility for this. Her son had broken up with the man he loved. All because he was worried she might not accept him.

Dean visited y/n every day, reporting back his hunts as he made promises to find the monsters who took the love of his life from him. But then again, it was his fault too. Dean blamed himself every day, hating himself for being stupid, for giving y/n up. For not listening to him.

Eventually Dean found the three men. He didn’t care whether or not they were human. They deserved all the torture Dean inflicted upon them, glad he had learnt the worst techniques in hell.  Before he finally had enough of their squealing and pleas for mercy, taking their lives, feeling satisfaction for just a single second before the pain and numbness took over once more, he made sure they pleaded for him to stop. Made sure they begged and cried for their lives. Not that he would grant them their wishes. They deserved death. The last monster he had to deal with was himself.

Dean debated how to do this, he could use a gun. That would be the easiest way. But it was too easy, too painless. Not painful enough. So he left on a hunt without telling Sam or Mary.

Showing up to the abandoned building, he walked in, all his weapons still in the bunker as he shouted at the werewolves, each of them jumping on him and tearing his body apart, his heart being ripped away. Not that it mattered. His heart had died the second y/n had left him.

Dean Winchesters life had ended, gone from this world as his soul left, hoping to reunite with y/n. But that wouldn’t happen. For y/n’s soul had been charged with a power beyond any in existence, his death awakening the true creature within. Y/n was now roaming the earth, more powerful than any being the Winchesters had previously come across, his intentions unknown.


End file.
